Fasting Journal: I give up.

September 10, 2009

Well, this fasting season, this season of release has left me in Oya's sweet space of surrender. I am so over all of the voices in my head that tell me how badly things are going to turn out. I am over trying to MAKE anything happen.

I have no judgment of my life as good or bad. I have released myself from the need to make others happy.

I have fallen in this place: I am who I am. Like me or not because the only opinion of me that matters is my own. Period.

I am here also: So what? I give up. If Divine law is truth then let it be so. All I can do is go with that and do my part which is follow the freakin' yellow brick road called my Ori, Higher Self, Ganesha, Ausar, Holy Spirit.

I don't feel numb; I feel present. I just feel. When negative thoughts and emotions arise I shrug my shoulders and say, "So what." and I go back to the task at hand.

Surrender. Truly I give up. I look for the miracles but if they don't come, so what. It is all good either way.

I stand at the door called spiritual death. Take me or leave me. YOu know when you are there it really doesn't matter. At death what can you do but relax into it?

Can't even begin to say what all of this means. Just writing as a spiritual aspirant on my way to a more enlightened me.

I write humbly just as I am. If you get something from this, then it is worth sharing. Otherwise, please excuse this spiritual self-talk.

In Surrender

Tirra-Olufemi
www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com