Fasting Journal: I give up.

September 10, 2009

Well, this fasting season, this season of release has left me in Oya's sweet space of surrender. I am so over all of the voices in my head that tell me how badly things are going to turn out. I am over trying to MAKE anything happen.

I have no judgment of my life as good or bad. I have released myself from the need to make others happy.

I have fallen in this place: I am who I am. Like me or not because the only opinion of me that matters is my own. Period.

I am here also: So what? I give up. If Divine law is truth then let it be so. All I can do is go with that and do my part which is follow the freakin' yellow brick road called my Ori, Higher Self, Ganesha, Ausar, Holy Spirit.

I don't feel numb; I feel present. I just feel. When negative thoughts and emotions arise I shrug my shoulders and say, "So what." and I go back to the task at hand.

Surrender. Truly I give up. I look for the miracles but if they don't come, so what. It is all good either way.

I stand at the door called spiritual death. Take me or leave me. YOu know when you are there it really doesn't matter. At death what can you do but relax into it?

Can't even begin to say what all of this means. Just writing as a spiritual aspirant on my way to a more enlightened me.

I write humbly just as I am. If you get something from this, then it is worth sharing. Otherwise, please excuse this spiritual self-talk.

In Surrender

Tirra-Olufemi
www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com

Fasting Journal: Don't Fight the Emotions....Get to the Now-Moment

September 6, 2009

I hope that during this fast when you feel the emotions rise that you let them come and then release them. I have been more cry-y lately and am a bit shocked. When I allow myself to be aware, I think, "Oh, something is needing to come out of me." So I get relaxed about the emotions, stop thinking that something is wrong and I release them.

No matter what you feel don't stuff it. Find a way to release it. Do you need to address something awful that your mother said to you? Are you angry because you think your daddy was no good. Are you mad because your child died to soon? Do you have unforgiveness in you because of your spouse?

What in the world are you so mad about? Why are you in despair? Sometimes if we don't ask the question then we just stay where we are. You have to ask the question in order to even get things moving.

But in a fast situation it is not all the time bliss. Sometimes it is a big detox. YOur body hurts. Your mind becomes foggy. Your emotions become amplified.

WHY? Because we decided to step up our game to do the work in order to get to our enlightenment, our buddhahood, our christ consciousness, our nirvana, our hetep.

So be present with it all. It is the now-moment experience that allows us to choose moment by moment how we feel, think and live.

Let the emotions come. It is all good!

Tirra-Olufemi

www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com

Fasting Journal: I am lazy and a whiner. Is this REALLY the legacy I want to leave?

September 5, 2009

I awoke this morning and prepared to teach my water aerobics class. I was just a huffing and a puffing thinking about having to go and teach class and thinking about all that I have to do. I was getting lost in my thoughts about having to clean the house when I heard: "What is the legacy of your Ancestors?"

I thought about it. Well, many of them had no nicely air conditioned home with running water. They had to walk to where they wanted to go and did so joyfully... unlike me who was getting ready to get in my car and drive to my job.

And the women...housework...what? There is no question. You do it and because that what you do. No need to whine and complain.

DAG! OUCH! OW WOW WOW!

So I realized something about myself that I have known for a while: I am LAZY! I am a WHINER! I miss how blessed I am because this lifestyle is the only reality that I have known.

YIKES! I then shifted my energy, gave thanks for this fast and joyfully went and taught my class.

I have missed the legacy of my Ancestors to a certain extent because of the luxury of modern day conveniences. It is my work ethic that needs addressing in my life.

Can I and do I work hard? Sure. However, I know that I take for granted this easy life that I live. I take for granted that so many of my Ancestors and people around the world have NOTHING compared to my material acquisitions.

I am in a place where I am raising myself out of my numbness to a place where I see the vibrancy of the world and realize that I am called to make a difference in my own way.

I am feeling that there is no way in the world I can allow Those souls who incarnated before me to have done all that they did, whether they did a good job or not, and me not pick up their legacy and run with it.

There is a shift taking place in my consciousness. I feel the energy of the Enlightened Ancestors flowing through my consciousness. It makes me stand taller and feel that much more enlightened.

If it be that we need to transform a legacy of pain. Then let it be so. If it be that we come to pick up the legacy of greatness, then let it be so.

The bottom line is that we need to make a choice. There is a legacy. What are you going to do with it? Those who are down the line from you are looking to you to ease the way for them. They say, "help us to see the legacy more easily. please do what you need to do. That way we live our purpose without getting lost in the lie of the physical world first."

Tirra-Olufemi

www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com

Fasting Journal: Let's Go Ahead and Deliver this Baby!

September 4, 2009

I don't know why I do these fasts anymore. It is just like with pregnancy for so many women. We get pregnant with all that goes with that, have the baby... the labor pains are kickass, the late nights are exhausting and the come back from a pregnant body is no joke.

Then the baby gets bigger and what? We start to forget pregnancy and the early days. As the baby gets older we start feeling the urge to have another baby.

So many of us will get pregnant again, we will even be excited, until we start feeling morning sickness and feel those labor pains and go back to the early days of caring for a little baby.

I have heard women say time and time again: "What in the heck was I thinking? I totally forgot about all of this. All I could think about was getting a new little baby and forgot about how hard it is to start all over."

That is me and fasting. I fast four times a year and at each interval, I am excited about fasting. But then the detox starts. And I say, "Why in the world am I doing this? This is hard!"

That is where I stand this morning. These fasts are where I take away my quarterly crutches so that I can keep my relationship with my Self and Divine balanced, clear and first and foremost in my life.

Soooooo...the tears flow, the emotions rise, the wrong thinking and mindset become very evident to me.

BUT...I am knowing, like every mother knows, that it is all worth it in the end. My baby at the end of the fast is that I am just that much more open spiritually and more on point.

I am becoming more and more clear that the more I keep my consciousness set on things above and not things below, the more that I seek enlightenment, spiritual liberation and self-realization, the happier I am, the less I am moved by the world and I am able to truly maximize my gift called life in the physical plane.

So fasting is worth it. Detoxing is worth it. All of the removal of the crap that keeps me weighted down in the lie that I have told myself for so long...it is so freakin' worth it.

I wish you a great fast. May you see the prize that awaits you in the end in order to stay in this fasting game.

Peace and Love

Tirra-Olufemi

Fall Equinox Fast Invitation

Fall Fast 2009: What Legacy Are You On Tap To Leave?

http://www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com/fall-equinox-fast.html


The Fall Fast is September 3-22, 2009

Insights to Consider at This Time: What Legacy Are You on Tap to Leave? It Is Your Choice!

"We did not come to play, to dream, to drift. We have hard work to do and loads to lift. Shun not the struggle 'tis God's gift. Be strong."

~Benjamin E. Mays

This is what the Ancestors speak to during this fast. They speak to the fact that we are here with a purpose; we are here to leave legacy.

It is so interesting how we get so lost in others' lives. We watch documentaries on their lives. We read about them in entertainment magazines. We even join fan clubs, groups and conferences surrounding these popular figures.

But what about our own lives? When we die what will be said about us? What legacy are we leaving for those who come after us?....

Read the rest of this Fall Equinox Fast Reading here.

No matter how you do it, this equinox is a time to shed the old, to feel the winds of change upon you, to align yourself with the natural cycles of the Universe.

Happy Fasting, Happy Healing,
Tirra-Olufemi
www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com